Insecurity

Who’s guarding the fort?

As global tensions mount and army enlistments drop, James Cassandra, a U.S. Army captain, notices signs of increasing Muslim presence in the officer corps at Fort Camp, the base to which he has been newly assigned. Bearded officers and burqas abound, alcohol is no longer served at the officers’ club, and Muslim children in mujahideen outfits practice hand-to-hand combat at the base housing. When Cassandra goes to his politically correct commanding officer, General Coddle, with his suspicions, he is reassured that what he sees is just the result of the Army’s “Proud to Be Me” program—affirmative action for Muslims and gays, “the two most underrepresented minorities in the military.”

Through a friend, Cassandra learns of similar Muslim penetration at other bases. Then, with the help of an eavesdropping device, he discovers a plot by Muslim officers to take over key commands, with a view to establishing an Islamic government. Meanwhile, information vital to the success of the coup is being relayed to the Muslim officers by Stanley Darling, a young gay soldier in army communications who has a crush on handsome Colonel Mohammed Faisal.

Realizing that General Coddle won’t listen to him, Captain Cassandra arranges to meet with a top Pentagon officer, the formidable general Jack Panzer, in order to divulge what he knows. But getting to Panzer is no easy task. Along the way, Cassandra encounters a burly Muslim TSA agent, six scary imams aboard his flight, and a leftist demonstration on the National Mall to support the construction of a gigantic mosque to be situated in the center of the Mall with the Washington Monument serving as its minaret.

Meanwhile, at the White House, President Prince and his security team are meeting to discuss global tensions, but against a background of escalating threats and falling enlistments, their top priorities are to increase the LGBTU presence in the military and to create a less threatening color-coded threat chart. Have naïve generals and politicians set the nation on an irreversible course towards disaster? Or will Captain Cassandra be able to save the day?

Having in the meantime landed in a mental health facility, however, Cassandra is in no position to save anyone—unless he can convince the staff that he’s really not crazy. In a world where craziness has become the norm and sanity is suspect, that proves to be a tall order. When burqas get a pass at the security gate, F-16s are sent to Iran, and the President decides to supplement the First Lady with a Second Lady and a Third Lady, it’s hard to say what’s normal.

A witty satire on suicidal government policies, multicultural misadventures, and military ineptitude, Insecurity hits uncomfortably close to home.